As I sit here on Thanksgiving morning eating pie and sipping on hot coffee in the comforts of my home, my heart strings are being pulled every which way. Joy for the life, families and freedoms the Lord has blessed us with. Shame for everything I tend to overlook in the hustle and bustle of everyday life. But mainly this morning, I think of those who's circumstances are complete opposite of mine. Specifically, I think of the children who don't have a permanent roof over their head or a family that loves unconditionally. I think about those same kids who long for exactly what I take for granted. I wonder if those littles know the love that God has for them which exceeds all else or if they have ever heard the name of Jesus. & I think of what I am called to do about something that weighs so heavily on my heart.
Sometimes it's through the circumstances that we can't understand that God works to open our heart to something we, in our selfish desire, would not have pursued otherwise. This year, he's given me a tender spirit for these orphan or unloved children. Children not birthed from me, but children who I could love as my own. I want to live with an open door to my home to those young spirits who need a little extra love and attention. I want to live a life seeking God's heart for the least. I want to live with the realization that all little ones are Christ's children first and foremost & we are called to disciple them to be warriors for His kingdom.
It's my prayer this year, that He will reveal a glimpse of what he has in store for us as a family. That he would show us his will and continue to grasp my heart in such a way that brings me to my knees in humbleness. & with that, I am thankful for the molding He does in my life & the heart for children He continues to bury deeper in my being.
Thursday, November 28, 2013
Sunday, October 20, 2013
year one.
One year ago today, I walked down the isle to my lover, my future, my husband. This year has flown by but at the same time, the times when we didn't do life together seem like a distant blur. It's been a year of growth, molding, & pure joy. Here's a few of the things being married to Cameron has taught me:
{Don't worry, guys. I'm not feeling a sappy-love-letter-kind-of-post today.}
1. We would make a horrible team on the Amazing Race.
Why? Well, simply put: I can be alittle a lot overbearing when I have a perception of how things should be done. It used to drive me crazy the way Cameron did dishes and I would often find myself questioning his method. {Bad wife moment} His gracious response: "There's more than one right way to do things, babe." What a gentle spirit that man has especially when I'm questioning him instead of being thankful for his ways of serving me. I'm far from perfect, but daily I strive to combat my natural tendency and to make strides to being a gentle, thankful and submissive wife. The wife I'm called to be.
2. I'm glad I was the one sick on our wedding day.
Rewind to exactly a year ago, and this girl was sick. Leaving the church in our "Just Married" set of wheels and going to the store to buy Saltine crackers, toasting with a plastic cup of sprite at the reception, and chugging anti nausea meds in the bathroom in between dances. {It's all rather hilarious now} Throughout all of those happenings, Cameron had a peace about him. He instantly stepped into the selfless role of husband. I mean, he even gave up any hope of eating dinner to accompany me to the outdoors to hold my hair...what guy does that with a gracious & cheerful heart? My man certainly did.
Fast forward to the one time Cameron's been sick since we got married....I did not have a servant heart like the one he displayed an hour into marriage. I found myself grumbling and annoyed that he was cutting into my time with his needs. What perspective it brought when I realized how selfish I really was/am. Although it's painful to mold my sinful being to be more like Christ, I am so thankful marriage has brought my flaws out into the open.
3. A God centered relationship is not at all what I thought.
Before we got married, I don't think we ever prayed out loud together. Not that Cam didn't try to pursue that aspect (because he did. all.the.time), it was I who was fearful and uncomfortable to come to God together in thanksgiving and prayer. Over the past year, I've learned that I don't need to write out some eloquent dialect in order to have a heartfelt script. I can come to God in the presence of my husband just as I am with all my jumbled up words, and awkward pauses of silence when I get flustered. What a blessing it's been to join with my husband and pray about our hearts desires together & be vulnerable. As much growth as we've had in this area this past year, I know that each year we will continue to grow, strongly rooted in the one who reigns forevermore.
4. I'm not a terrible cook...or at least we haven't died yet.
I never grew up cooking meals and in college my meals consisted of fast food breakfast, ramen for lunch, and a frozen meal dinner. Something told me, that diet wouldn't suffice in married life. So I had to put my big girl panties on and learn how to cook. Truthfully, I knew how all along, but doubted my abilities since it wasn't something I had spent a lot of time dissecting, studying and learning the art of the kitchen. Meal planning and cooking is a way I can serve my husband. It's my domain in our household and I love that. So much satisfaction arises when my husband raves to others about a new meal I've somehow mustered up or when I manage to get out of the grocery store for less and less each week. My heart is full in that moment. Some family favorites this year have been: Swiss Chicken, Spicy Pork Green Chili, Sausage and Spinach Stuffed Shells, & of course, the quick go to, Stir Fry. Here's to many more meals on the table for our family.
5. We will always be dating even when we are an old married couple.
One thing we have guarded is a Wednesday night date night. Time with the husband to cater to what we need that week. Sometimes it looks like a cozy night on the couch, a neighborhood stroll, chats over coffee, or some crazy fun idea we've cooked up. But the bottom line is we want to invest in our marriage and not become monotonous in our everyday routine. Especially for me, I need to feel pursued still as a woman. & he needs to feel appreciated as a man. Some of my favorite memories are the ones we created together while continue to date each other in marriage. I've never felt more loved and treasured than in this moment and I know that will continue to grow.
Being married to the man that God selected for me has been such a blessing. I can honestly say that I follow him as he follows Christ. And when one of us stumbles, the other is there to point to right back to the Creator of Heaven and Earth. We have been richly blessed in our lives together so far and give all the glory, honor and praise to Him. On to year two....!
{Don't worry, guys. I'm not feeling a sappy-love-letter-kind-of-post today.}
1. We would make a horrible team on the Amazing Race.
Why? Well, simply put: I can be a
2. I'm glad I was the one sick on our wedding day.
Rewind to exactly a year ago, and this girl was sick. Leaving the church in our "Just Married" set of wheels and going to the store to buy Saltine crackers, toasting with a plastic cup of sprite at the reception, and chugging anti nausea meds in the bathroom in between dances. {It's all rather hilarious now} Throughout all of those happenings, Cameron had a peace about him. He instantly stepped into the selfless role of husband. I mean, he even gave up any hope of eating dinner to accompany me to the outdoors to hold my hair...what guy does that with a gracious & cheerful heart? My man certainly did.
Fast forward to the one time Cameron's been sick since we got married....I did not have a servant heart like the one he displayed an hour into marriage. I found myself grumbling and annoyed that he was cutting into my time with his needs. What perspective it brought when I realized how selfish I really was/am. Although it's painful to mold my sinful being to be more like Christ, I am so thankful marriage has brought my flaws out into the open.
3. A God centered relationship is not at all what I thought.
Before we got married, I don't think we ever prayed out loud together. Not that Cam didn't try to pursue that aspect (because he did. all.the.time), it was I who was fearful and uncomfortable to come to God together in thanksgiving and prayer. Over the past year, I've learned that I don't need to write out some eloquent dialect in order to have a heartfelt script. I can come to God in the presence of my husband just as I am with all my jumbled up words, and awkward pauses of silence when I get flustered. What a blessing it's been to join with my husband and pray about our hearts desires together & be vulnerable. As much growth as we've had in this area this past year, I know that each year we will continue to grow, strongly rooted in the one who reigns forevermore.
4. I'm not a terrible cook...or at least we haven't died yet.
I never grew up cooking meals and in college my meals consisted of fast food breakfast, ramen for lunch, and a frozen meal dinner. Something told me, that diet wouldn't suffice in married life. So I had to put my big girl panties on and learn how to cook. Truthfully, I knew how all along, but doubted my abilities since it wasn't something I had spent a lot of time dissecting, studying and learning the art of the kitchen. Meal planning and cooking is a way I can serve my husband. It's my domain in our household and I love that. So much satisfaction arises when my husband raves to others about a new meal I've somehow mustered up or when I manage to get out of the grocery store for less and less each week. My heart is full in that moment. Some family favorites this year have been: Swiss Chicken, Spicy Pork Green Chili, Sausage and Spinach Stuffed Shells, & of course, the quick go to, Stir Fry. Here's to many more meals on the table for our family.
5. We will always be dating even when we are an old married couple.
One thing we have guarded is a Wednesday night date night. Time with the husband to cater to what we need that week. Sometimes it looks like a cozy night on the couch, a neighborhood stroll, chats over coffee, or some crazy fun idea we've cooked up. But the bottom line is we want to invest in our marriage and not become monotonous in our everyday routine. Especially for me, I need to feel pursued still as a woman. & he needs to feel appreciated as a man. Some of my favorite memories are the ones we created together while continue to date each other in marriage. I've never felt more loved and treasured than in this moment and I know that will continue to grow.
Being married to the man that God selected for me has been such a blessing. I can honestly say that I follow him as he follows Christ. And when one of us stumbles, the other is there to point to right back to the Creator of Heaven and Earth. We have been richly blessed in our lives together so far and give all the glory, honor and praise to Him. On to year two....!
Thursday, September 19, 2013
home-owners?
Oh, this week....what a whirlwind! It's no lie that I love our cozy little rental and our sweet duplex-mates who have become some of our closest friends. Doing life together in the ease and comfort of home. But, I've also always been the type who gets the bug to move, to recreate a space, to adventure to something new. I blame this on my parents for raising me in a military home where it was the norm to pick up and move every 4 years. So the urge and desire to buy a home has been racing through my soul the past few months.
Cameron and I were essentially on the same page as far as wish lists for our first home purchase with just a few minor differences. Originally, I wanted to buy in NW GR but Cameron was not sold on that idea. His ideal home consisted of being able to rent out half and live in half, much like the duplex we live in now. Whereas, I want a house we could expand in as our family grows in the years to come. We both wanted a large porch, adorned with a porch swing, that we could have chats and coffee dates on as the day turned to dusk. I dreamed of a white house that was like a modern farm house, with chippy-drippy paint, old hardware, not new but comfortable.
We had agreed to wait about another year before we seriously considered buying a house. & when that time came, we would enlist the help of my mother-in-law who is a realtor in this area. Well, last Thursday our plans changed. Just for fun, my mother-in-law emailed me a house listing that I soon came to love. So we scheduled a showing the next day and we devoted our time to praying about this possibility.
The outside has a porch that reaches from one end of the house to the other...with a porch swing. It's technically a single family house but can be split into an upstairs and downstairs unit to make it a duplex. It has character! From beautiful wood trim to built-in cabinets to old hardware-it is my perfect modern farmhouse (never mind the fact its in a neighborhood, not on a farm). & although not in GR, it's in a wonderful little town not too far away that has a great school district for kiddos later down the road. & the cherry on top: it was exactly the price range we were looking for when the time came to buy a house. Sounds grand, eh?
The house is a short sale so the waiting game has begun. We put our offer in but the reality is, we could wait all this time & in the end not get the house depending on the lending companies assessment of price.
But through our journey in life, especially together, God's provision has been so present amidst our situation and it's amazing to look back and see how He orchestrated all things to work together for our good. This situation is no different. We are praying that we get the house, but are also completely content if the Lord closes this door. For we know, his plan is better than our own and even if we think this is the perfect house, HIS perfect house for us could be completely different. We're at peace and completely at rest. {& a little impatient, I might add, to find out if we get the house}
Until we have our answer, I suppose it wouldn't hurt to dream of calling it home. Stay tuned for my less than mediocre interior design skills as I try to envision how I would decorate this house to make it our own.
Cameron and I were essentially on the same page as far as wish lists for our first home purchase with just a few minor differences. Originally, I wanted to buy in NW GR but Cameron was not sold on that idea. His ideal home consisted of being able to rent out half and live in half, much like the duplex we live in now. Whereas, I want a house we could expand in as our family grows in the years to come. We both wanted a large porch, adorned with a porch swing, that we could have chats and coffee dates on as the day turned to dusk. I dreamed of a white house that was like a modern farm house, with chippy-drippy paint, old hardware, not new but comfortable.
We had agreed to wait about another year before we seriously considered buying a house. & when that time came, we would enlist the help of my mother-in-law who is a realtor in this area. Well, last Thursday our plans changed. Just for fun, my mother-in-law emailed me a house listing that I soon came to love. So we scheduled a showing the next day and we devoted our time to praying about this possibility.
The outside has a porch that reaches from one end of the house to the other...with a porch swing. It's technically a single family house but can be split into an upstairs and downstairs unit to make it a duplex. It has character! From beautiful wood trim to built-in cabinets to old hardware-it is my perfect modern farmhouse (never mind the fact its in a neighborhood, not on a farm). & although not in GR, it's in a wonderful little town not too far away that has a great school district for kiddos later down the road. & the cherry on top: it was exactly the price range we were looking for when the time came to buy a house. Sounds grand, eh?
The house is a short sale so the waiting game has begun. We put our offer in but the reality is, we could wait all this time & in the end not get the house depending on the lending companies assessment of price.
But through our journey in life, especially together, God's provision has been so present amidst our situation and it's amazing to look back and see how He orchestrated all things to work together for our good. This situation is no different. We are praying that we get the house, but are also completely content if the Lord closes this door. For we know, his plan is better than our own and even if we think this is the perfect house, HIS perfect house for us could be completely different. We're at peace and completely at rest. {& a little impatient, I might add, to find out if we get the house}
Until we have our answer, I suppose it wouldn't hurt to dream of calling it home. Stay tuned for my less than mediocre interior design skills as I try to envision how I would decorate this house to make it our own.
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