because we should serve.

Isn't it funny how we can know something but it doesn't seem to click until later? For instance, I know the way my husband receives love is in acts of service.  I know that he feels the most at ease when the home is tidy. & I know what an impact it makes when I put effort into serving him in this way. He needs simple peace. A place to take refuge.

I can't help but feel a convinction as of lately in the manner in which I intend to show my husband love.  I try so hard to make him feel loved by gifts, simple text messages of 'i love you', and together time. These are all ways that make me  feel loved. It's easy to do. I've come to realize that it shouldn't be about what's easy. It should be about me stepping down to submit to my husband's needs ahead of my own selfish desires.

Although I've become much better than in years past, I still struggle with keeping a tidy home. As the week goes on, I leave things lying out of place and by the end of the week, I find myself asking Cameron if he's seen various items.  Amazingly, he always seems to have the answer.  I never thought about why that might be until recently. Perhaps he knows the whereabouts of all my misplaced things because he notices them. Because secretly they bother him but he's too kind to say. What a hard truth that is to swallow especially for a people pleaser like myself.

I desire to change my habits in order to have peace in the home for the man who serves me constantly. Making small changes that will have a large impact. It's quite apparent when I do go out of my way to love my husband, the fruit that it brings to our marriage.  He can fully relax when the dishes are done and the laundry is folded. He is able to truly savor our time together. He is proud to call me his wife. He's more apt to take part in my spontaneous fun...even when it makes a mess. We are one, working as a team.

As I enter into this role of serving more frequently, I need the constant reminder that I am serving the Lord by serving my husband. What a perspective that gives.

seasons.

It seems that every time I get inspired to write, by the time I get the chance to just sit and be still to type out my thoughts, I have a sudden lack of inspiration.  I want what I write to be full of purpose and thoughtful, stories of daily happenings to cherish, areas of growth in life....not just uninspired words to a page for the sake of blogging.

As of lately:

My biggest struggle has always been that I'm too much of a planner. I try to plan out my life in the way I see it going, gently pushing aside any thought that God's plan may be different.  & when his plan turns the exact opposite way of what I envisioned....well, I find myself trying to grasp the same lesson over and over. God's plan is always greater than our own even when we don't understand.
But this time, I've been determined to really put my heart into what I know instead of getting smacked in the face time after time.

I've longed to be in the season of life that so many of those who surround me are in. I felt deserving to be where they are--{Yikes! My prideful spirit needed to go!} So I prayed. and prayed. and prayed some more. That's when God really showed up and exposed my jealousy, pride, and self entitlement but by the grace of God he instilled a renewed spirit in me. I can now rejoice with the ones around me instead of being overcome by heartbreak and saddness that they are experiencing the season in life that I want to be in.  I've come to acknowledge that it is just not my time.

Instead I'm in a season of growth. A season of boldness. Learning to dig into God deeper and proclaim his love and good news to those around me. To step out of my comfort zone and expect him to show up in ways I've never experienced. To go against cultural norms in order to seek out modesty as a woman and wife. To be the strong but gentle woman that He created me to be.

What a joyful spirit he has created in me and I praise him for his mighty works in my life!