It seems that every time I get inspired to write, by the time I get the chance to just sit and be still to type out my thoughts, I have a sudden lack of inspiration. I want what I write to be full of purpose and thoughtful, stories of daily happenings to cherish, areas of growth in life....not just uninspired words to a page for the sake of blogging.
As of lately:
My biggest struggle has always been that I'm too much of a planner. I try to plan out my life in the way I see it going, gently pushing aside any thought that God's plan may be different. & when his plan turns the exact opposite way of what I envisioned....well, I find myself trying to grasp the same lesson over and over. God's plan is always greater than our own even when we don't understand.
But this time, I've been determined to really put my heart into what I know instead of getting smacked in the face time after time.
I've longed to be in the season of life that so many of those who surround me are in. I felt deserving to be where they are--{Yikes! My prideful spirit needed to go!} So I prayed. and prayed. and prayed some more. That's when God really showed up and exposed my jealousy, pride, and self entitlement but by the grace of God he instilled a renewed spirit in me. I can now rejoice with the ones around me instead of being overcome by heartbreak and saddness that they are experiencing the season in life that I want to be in. I've come to acknowledge that it is just not my time.
Instead I'm in a season of growth. A season of boldness. Learning to dig into God deeper and proclaim his love and good news to those around me. To step out of my comfort zone and expect him to show up in ways I've never experienced. To go against cultural norms in order to seek out modesty as a woman and wife. To be the strong but gentle woman that He created me to be.
What a joyful spirit he has created in me and I praise him for his mighty works in my life!
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